If you wouldn't mind backing up a few weeks, I believe it was two posts ago? I told you about my friend Kate, & the meaning of her name. Can we chat about that some more? I hope you have looked up the meaning of your name & laughed at God's brilliance. It's something that fascinates me to no end. I want to tell you about myself.
A Nutshell.
{CAN BE CONFIRMED BY FAMILY, FRIENDS, & MY STARBUCKS FAMILY.}
I'm a lover of florals, prints, & layers. Old portraits serenade me & antique shops seduce me. I am a firm believer coffee, breakfast, & desert will be served 24/7 in heaven. I love to draw beautiful strands of words together with a challenge of alluring one in. Friends evolve from strangers. Thankfulness breeds joy, or maybe vice versa. I live for new beginnings in books & out. When I grow up into a full grown adult & at least hit 5'4", I want to be an author of encouraging words & an inspired speaker at women's conferences. I skip the small dreams, but love simplicity. Size doesn't always equate complication. I'm a free spirit, running from any feelings of gravity. I change my mind at the snap of my fingers, grow anxious at routine, & rebel at the thought of a hand pulling me out of independence. There's something in a heart felt laugh, & the glow of loving eyes.
Now that you know that much about me, you can understand why my heart skipped a beat when I read the meaning behind my name.
Samantha. Listener. Name of God. Deep desire to create & express themselves, often through public speaking, acting, writing, or singing. Yearn to have beauty all around them in their home & work environment. Excited by change & adventure. Dynamic, visionary, & versatile. Optimistic, energetic, intelligent. Makes friends easily. Sometimes changeable, restless, untidy, & rebellious.
God, you are clever.
Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord.
You hem me in- behind & before; you have laid you hand upon me.
Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully & wonderfully made; your works are wonderful,
I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the
secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes
saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your
book before one of them came to be.
(PSALM 139: 4-5, 7, 13-16)
You have picked my brain, & you know me. You know the minute I pull up a chair at Starbucks & the second my dangling feet hit the floor, gracing me to the exit. You know the smells, sights, & words that trigger the memories, & you ponder every thought that seeps through, staining my heart. You know the things that singe my heart & the things that make me jump up & down, drawing out the innocent splendor. You see the words that form in my expressions, the rolling tide before they spill over. You have made me this way- from my love of birthday celebrations to the break of an easily wounded heart. Your hand is what shaped me. & it's all too wonderful for me to grasp, sometimes; the beauty & simplicity too much for my eyes to see in the moment. Where can I go that your hand hasn't been first? Where can I go that is separate from you? When life is on the up swing, & I'm basking in your glory, you are here. When I make awful decisions & fall into the deepest pit, you are there, too. If I wake up one morning & move to the other side of the world, leaving my family behind, you will be the atlas in my hands, guiding my footsteps & holding my hand. Even in the darkest place isn't dark to you; you've never lost sight of me. For you've pieced together everything that makes me soul leap with joy & everything that makes my heart sing with hope. My laughter is escaping joy, a song to your ears. You love to hear my melodies, so you've filled my days with gifts. Nothing about me is a surprise to you, for I came from your hands. You saw my unformed body & spoke every day over me before I knew even one.
Do you feel it? Does that make your soul feel hugged by an incredible author of life? I feel his embrace in every loving word. A blanket of truth warms my inmost being. Speaking of which, the Hebrew translation of inmost is kidneys. Weird? A bit. Or at least until you're told that in relevance to the time, kidneys was considered the center of all your emotions. Everything that drives you- passions, pet peeves, fears- all sucked into one place. The kidneys.
& to think we're not on his refrigerator,
that God's not enthralled by us. That he's making it all up, exaggerating the details into a feel-good story. God is so passionate about us! & as we see his adoration in it's fullness, & accept his love for us, only then can we experience his fullness. Believing what He says about us is much deeper than self-confidence- it's confidence in who made us & who redeemed us. It's simply living out the root of salvation- believing in Him.
See what kind of love the Father
has given to us, that we should be called
children of God; & so we are!
(1 JOHN 3:1)
We are children of God, which deems us righteous, pure, free, & heiresses! We are crowned, not by what we did or the potential we have, but simply because God said so. He called us His, laying claims to us. & what the King says, goes. So, since we can't change anything, we might as well embrace it, & open our palms to the splendor our Father is dying to lavish upon us.
Abide.
In John when Jesus is giving the disciples some last instruction, he says that as the Father has loved Him, He has loved them. Abide in my love. (JOHN 15:9) Stay. Rest. Have my love. & as I read the definition & synonyms of what it means to 'abide', my hands are stretched open, praising my wonderful, wonderful Love.
1 : to wait for : await | 2 a : to endure without yielding : withstand | b : to bear patiently : tolerate | 3 : to accept without objection | 4 : to remain stable or fixed in a state | 5 : to continue in a place : sojourn | 6 : to conform to | 7 : to acquiesce in | synonyms : stay, dwell, hang around, remain, stick around, tarry.
Are you astonished? Because I don't know how your brain interprets this verse when you read, but this is how mine has translated these words for the last 22 years:
Abide in my love : You better love everybody else.I would respond to this verse as if a nagging parent kept reminding me of something I needed to do, with a, "Yes, I know." Because I had learned in Kindergarten. Kindness is the golden rule. But here's where you need to reread the verse & then read the next sentence. Jesus wasn't telling us to do anything. He was asking us to stay. Will you allow my love to carry you? Will you give me the lock & key to your heart? In a world that can bite, will you remain conformed to me? Will you stay, my dear? I want you to believe in my love. Feel it. Sure, maybe by saying yes to feeling his heart beat, you'll start acting differently towards others. Maybe you'll think before you lash out at the innocent who are just loving you. Maybe you'll want to be kinder, & encouraging. Maybe you'll put your hand on a strangers back in a loving manner. Maybe you'll be a listening ear where you used to be judgmental. Maybe you'll even share the gift of a hug, or a you're not alone. & when you hear Christ out, & tell him He can love you, I believe something will spark inside of you. You'll change. But you'll also find His fullness- the secret home of joy, peace, & more love.
& to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge,
that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.
(EPHESIANS 3:19)
He will give a crown of beauty for ashes: a joyous blessing
instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair.
(ISAIAH 63:3)
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