thoughts catching up to realities, emotions sinking in to situations. I ponder a lot in my Jeep Compass- things get deep. From my trips to catch up with friends for coffee, to work, to toasting the night with some more coffee & friends calling other states home, these are the things I'm catching glimpse of. Lessons learned, if you will.
If you think something nice, say it.
So run on the negative, we have to be told if we don't have anything nice to say, to say nothing at all. But what about the positive? How come we are so willing to shout the terrible things from a roof top, so much so we have the 9 o'clock, 6 o'clock, 10 o'clock news, but the positive things go unsaid. What happened to our kiddo hallways being filled with 'kindness is the golden rule' signs & the crosswalk lady who held your hand & smiled to help you across the high traffic street? At work in customer service, we are frequently told that if a customer has a good experience, chances are the will tell nobody, but if they have a bad experience, they will tell at least five people. Why do we thrive off of such things?
I have received so many encouraging words, recently, especially on my writing. What I'm learning from it? Speak. Don't stop. Say the same compliment one thousand times if you feel it. If you think her hair is the prettiest hair you've ever seen, tell her. If you love his jaw line, give the boy some gum to chew & tell him he has a great jaw line (so kidding, please don't). But really, think about every time you have ever gotten a compliment. Have you ever gotten sick of it? Has any compliment ever been too much, or not given you even the slightest glimmer of joy? Kind words are honey to the soul, & so encouraging. Be a breath of fresh air. Think something kind, say it, no matter if you are a broken record. Who cares, you're kind.
Now, onward to the touchy feely side of things.
Hugs aren't only for little girls whose hearts haven't been tampered with.
Big girls on there own in the real world need hugs, too. Girlfriend hugs. When I lived on my own above a funeral home, I gladly received (& asked for) free girlfriend hugs. My roommates played mom often, as an embrace while passing in the hall on the way to the bathroom was not far fetched, but rather common. After a couple roommates, I had one in particular who needed & cherished the hugs just as much as I did. & they were refreshing. I can recall evenings coming home from work to a distraught face in the kitchen, waiting with a quivering lip & teary eyes, so desperate for a sisterly embrace. & that whole time on my own, her & I grew together, I believe, a large part due to are sisterly affection.
Go back with me to elementary school, & imagine recess time. The bell rings & everyone escapes to the playground, boys all scattering like mice, girls all grabbing hands & locking arms. Why? Because we loved each other. Because we were one. Because we weren't afraid of being mistaken for lesbians or made fun of. We were innocent & we just hugged & we just held hands, because that's what love does.
Last winter I moved home after stress & I could no longer part ways, watching my health deteriorate under the weight of it. One thing that is changing about me that I have recently noticed is my affection. Meeting up with the same old roommate that I had hugged like sisters hug for dear life, what once was a second nature reaction to go in for a hug as frequent as I laughed, now had shifted to intentional. I am surrounded all the time by love in this house with a family who tells me they love me & asks me about my day & waits up for me to make sure I get in the house safe. Being surrounded by this love all the time is the blessing of a huge embrace; I don't need the reassurance that I am a loved one. But that doesn't mean she doesn't. That doesn't mean a hug couldn't be the same breath of fresh air it used to be, the same sigh of relief. & this clicked driving on my way home from coffee with her, after I had already reacted to her hug with the casual side hug. What she went in for in her time of need I was unintentional about. Big girls need hugs, too. Especially big girls living on their own. We were made for human contact. We were made for love & affection. Which brings me to my next pondering.
True love must be a Disney World moment.
I'm a believer in the magic of Disney World. An avid believer. If you have been to Disney World, I have to believe that it is utterly impossible for you to not feel that spark of magic, when you realize this could be the closest to heaven you will ever come on the green earth. & I believe that true love must be just like Disney World: perfectly rare, perfectly timed, & perfectly magical.
Love in life is such a hit or miss thing. It could be a tease. Then again, what's authentic? I guess I'll never know until I have a ring on my finger.& even then I can only know my side of this stranger. Love is a big knot, really.
We are all swerving in & out, tripping over one guy, who is actually smitten for your friend. The second you stop chasing the boy you've had a mad crush on since middle school is the second he gains interest, & the second you think something could become of the boy you've always seen as a brother, he begins to see you as a sister. Or insane. But really, you are starting to think you could be both. But you want to like him but don't want to all together because what if you act on these miniature feelings with hopes that they will flare up into some raging lovestorm & what if nothing comes out of it other than the brother feelings you started with & a dead heart?
Love is sick & twisted. That's all for now. Maybe someday I will understand why he never liked me. Maybe I will understand what made all the wrong ones fall for me. But either way, is it us or is it God? Does he give us these feelings for these people who we have no future with or are we living on the prayer that he'll give us someone soon, so we're all a bunch of savage animals desperate for somebody to settle down with, that we make due in the moment? Or do we all just need to know we're loved & not forgotten about & need a few more girlfriend hugs?
Last winter I moved home after stress & I could no longer part ways, watching my health deteriorate under the weight of it. One thing that is changing about me that I have recently noticed is my affection. Meeting up with the same old roommate that I had hugged like sisters hug for dear life, what once was a second nature reaction to go in for a hug as frequent as I laughed, now had shifted to intentional. I am surrounded all the time by love in this house with a family who tells me they love me & asks me about my day & waits up for me to make sure I get in the house safe. Being surrounded by this love all the time is the blessing of a huge embrace; I don't need the reassurance that I am a loved one. But that doesn't mean she doesn't. That doesn't mean a hug couldn't be the same breath of fresh air it used to be, the same sigh of relief. & this clicked driving on my way home from coffee with her, after I had already reacted to her hug with the casual side hug. What she went in for in her time of need I was unintentional about. Big girls need hugs, too. Especially big girls living on their own. We were made for human contact. We were made for love & affection. Which brings me to my next pondering.
True love must be a Disney World moment.
I'm a believer in the magic of Disney World. An avid believer. If you have been to Disney World, I have to believe that it is utterly impossible for you to not feel that spark of magic, when you realize this could be the closest to heaven you will ever come on the green earth. & I believe that true love must be just like Disney World: perfectly rare, perfectly timed, & perfectly magical.
Love in life is such a hit or miss thing. It could be a tease. Then again, what's authentic? I guess I'll never know until I have a ring on my finger.& even then I can only know my side of this stranger. Love is a big knot, really.
We are all swerving in & out, tripping over one guy, who is actually smitten for your friend. The second you stop chasing the boy you've had a mad crush on since middle school is the second he gains interest, & the second you think something could become of the boy you've always seen as a brother, he begins to see you as a sister. Or insane. But really, you are starting to think you could be both. But you want to like him but don't want to all together because what if you act on these miniature feelings with hopes that they will flare up into some raging lovestorm & what if nothing comes out of it other than the brother feelings you started with & a dead heart?
Love is sick & twisted. That's all for now. Maybe someday I will understand why he never liked me. Maybe I will understand what made all the wrong ones fall for me. But either way, is it us or is it God? Does he give us these feelings for these people who we have no future with or are we living on the prayer that he'll give us someone soon, so we're all a bunch of savage animals desperate for somebody to settle down with, that we make due in the moment? Or do we all just need to know we're loved & not forgotten about & need a few more girlfriend hugs?
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